cure for procrastination

there are 5 easy steps to prevent procrastination :
1- first off, start imagining ....

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mauhauahuahauhuauauhaah....bullshit! there are no fucking easy steps to prevent procrastination you douchebags! (well, if you were searching for such on google)...whoever writes these kinda articles just commits huge sins of douchebaggery!
you wanna prevent procrastination? yeshh (in scottish accent)?

solution: no pain no gain!

wtf did you think? magical pink unicorns will circle over your head and sprinkle anti-procrastination dust? huh?

first off, dear sufferer from procrastination, there is a reason why your brain tries to procrastinate. simple, it is smth you dont wanna do, a unpleasant activity (yes, studying, doing programming projects etc.)

i didnt find a way to cure it but there is a well known method to ease the pain caused by procrastination: sit and do your thing (studying for example, that damn thing) outside of your home. isolated places will just do (like ultra silent reading room in your university).  but we are not done yet. secondly, you WILL have to sit for some time (½-1 hour for mortals) in that space thinking about other awesome activities (playing guitar hero when drunk or boning your girlfriend, for example...fuck! this just  made me to procrastinate even more!)...anyhoo...after that purgatory period you will be focused on doing your thing. why? because you are isolated from that *evil* activities and the damn brain will try to do smth else than imagining and actually do some work!

there is also another method suggested by one of my friends: "magnifying the pressure"

you have a project, paper or some other damn academic shit to do at hand and the deadline is, say, after 2 weeks...try to imagine the deadline is after 2 days instead. also it will help to think that there are bloodthirsty soviet officers outside the room waiting for you to fuck up...
my friend claims this is the way to go...however this method is destined to fail in my humble fucking opinion since you cant really create and believe an alternative reality (well, unless you are on LSD)

also stop reading this article! go back to work you sloth bitch!