웃어라. 온 세상이 너와 함께 웃을 것이다. 울어라. 너 혼자만 울게 될 것이다

("Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.")

Sometimes I wonder if I am slightly insane
Or is it me just being childish
Behaving like a drunk in sheer sobriety of others
Maybe we are not supposed to live in a collective normality?
Fuck knows
I hope I don't lose my mind some day
as I suspect that I might be susceptible to such thing................................................................................................................................................................................... .

Why is Turkey a fucked up country?

Many reasons, large and small (in no particular order. I will update the list as the time goes and as I keep ranting)

• Internet is very expensive and slow (compared to EU. Even fucking Bulgaria). Thanks to Türk Telekom not unbinding their copper wires and all that monopoly jazz.
• Gasoline prices are sky high. (4.72 lira (€1.88) per litre of A95; at the time I am writing this)
• Car acquisition tax is also sky high (171.4193% whereas Germans pay only 19% those lucky fucks!)
• Election threshold is 10% There is no other country IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD that has this much high threshold.
• Any anti-gvmnt/state tweets, posts, blogs etc. can be trialed. Even as little as saying "fuck you Tayyip you motherfucker you! (in Joe Pesci accent)" might have dire consequences if you have a Turkish IP address.
• Rail transport sucks balls. So, you wanna travel intercity, don't ya? well fuck you! take the bus!
• Education system changes radically every 4 years.
• Conscription! So, you wanna conscientiously object, don't ya? well fuck you, you hippie gay bastard! Jail or do the service like a man(!)
• Alcohol prices are also sky high. Thanks to fucking Islamist assholes atop government.
• Traffic rules. well, what traffic rules? It's a jungle down there. Pedestrian crosses are just decorative patterns on roads.
• Also pedestrian walks are either 50 nanometre wide or just none existent all together. It's normal for people to walk on the side of the road.
• It's a secular country but we have a Presidency of Religious Affairs promoting hanefi sunni Islam. A chunk of everyone's tax goes into these assholes.
• There is simply no architecture or city planning. All cities and towns look like a giant concrete diarrhea.
• Not a cyclist friendly country. First they will make fun of your bicycle-wear and then squish you (pray that it's not a truck!). Oh, also no bicycle lanes.

Anger

...or fury. sometimes i get so angry all of a sudden!... to me and to most of the things. it's as if it's gonna split me into half. so angry...i have to channel it onto something. but i can't or not able to. these little bursts of anger within me will someday create a massive crack.

Debian ALSA microphone problems

I made my minimal install of debian with KDE. i use ALSA. also like my previous install couple of months back...surprise surprise...my mic isn't working!
i am using the front jack (front mic). so what worked for me might also work for you:

fire up alsamixer from the terminal by typing

alsamixer

(duh!).

next fire up another terminal and the arecord loopback so you can hear actually what your motherfucking mic is receiving:

arecord | aplay

here are my playback settings (click to enlarge the pic :) ):

I have the weirdest boner right now

Squat toilets 101 (Introduction)

It is good for your rectum, too! (a.k.a less hemorrhoid risk and other embarrassing shit)

Sharing bullshit

you probably see this kinda so-called social media share buttons. usually people with no actual content love to use them at the end of their bullshit blog post or whatever. how about you share your cunt or asshole? or both?
if i will ever share something i find share-worthy i will actually copy+paste the link of it. why the fuck do i need a share button to do that simple monkey task? wtf is wrong with people? if you put this kinda gazillion of buttons on your site, blog etc. know that i hate you and i wish you everlasting diarrhea. fucking cunts.

Denmark—what an asshole country against cars (part 1½)

i actually bothered to look up the tax rates around EU to see how denmark is jacking up the tax rates. here is the table of horrors:

i even bothered to edit the wikipedia page to share the bullshit worldwide: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Car_taxation#Tax_rates_around_member_states

fuck you danish tax authority (SKAT) and the danish state! i'm getting the fuck outta here when i have some sack of cash.

Denmark—what an asshole country against cars

guess how much is the difference of the car prices between germany and denmark? i will take porsche boxster standard model here for other manufacturers' models vary a lot (different option packages, different model names and shit). a new porsche boxster in germany costs €48.291 (incl. vat). same car in denmark costs...€140.419! that is 2,907 times (almost triple) more! jesus fucking titty christ on a hoverboat, gimme a break! oh also, add the one of the most expensive gasoline (€1,578 per litre for A-95, which is the standard in 21st century europe) prices in the world on top of it.

i don't get this double anal fisting tax on cars. if the butterfly loving, grass fucking, sheep hugging danish governments really like the environment so much, i have news for them: IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK YOU CUNTS!
why? because:

1. you force people to use older cars (as they are cheaper and the tax on them gets less and less as they get even older. yeah, some fucking logic). most of them won't even pass inspection in (logical) countries like germany or japan. they are constant safety hazards and probably less env. friendly as they burn more fuel!
2. people won't use the public transport and bicycles as their sole type of transport—despite what most thick danes believe. if you are in a big city, maybe less painful but as it gets more rural, believe me people don’t want to pedal 25-30 km (one way) or take the fucking bus every motherfucking morning. so, they will still buy cars ANYWAY! and guess what? they in fact DO!
3. i get that denmark is not like usa. that is to say, it's not designed for cars. not enough parking lots, roads and crammed town/city centres etc. but read the 2nd point again. most working people go ahead and buy a car anyways despite all this buttfucking going around. why? 'cos they need it. but they have to pay a lot of money or get a shit car.
4. back to so-called environmental issue: the neighbouring countries germany and sweden have cheaper prices...and germany has buttload of cars! so, denmark is getting those toxic exhaust gases anyways. it's flat as pancake. 

the 8th circle of hell of course doesn't finish here. a "service" in denmark is extremely expensive. i mean, when actual living, breathing, shitting people serve you with any kind of service. taxi, restaurant, auto repair shop/official car service, plumber, wall-painter etc. are really sky high in denmark (even dwarf the snub countries like belgium, switzerland). so, god forbid if your car is fucked! you are fucked too. you will be BDSM-ed. that is all good, pink and peachy for the service industry workers but -excuse my french- fuck this shit! a car repair guy or a kindergarten chick almost gets paid same as a junior level master degree holding engineer. communism you say? soviets were doing it all wrong! (retarded russkies)
oh also, forget about free car wash offers (like in turkey) or some shit like this in here. oh no! you WILL pay for the wash shitload of money despite it's done by a fucking roller machine. why? fuck you that's why.

so, you might ask yourself about what to do? well, you will bend over and take it! unless... you go to the heights of registering yourself as a resident in sweden or germany, if you are lucky enough to live close by to the borders. even this effort is futile for there is a high chance that you will be inspected and when it turns out that you are a danish citizen/resident in fact, (as said in south park) you're gonna have a baaaaad time!

thanks for reading this rant about a first world problem.

Deyimlerimizi sevelim, koruyalım serisi

Günün deyimi:

Senin koyun gütmüşlüğün kadar benim çoban sikmişliğim var.

ne kadar fantastik, vulgar ve harikülade bir deyimdir bu sayın türkçeperverler! başka lisana çevirsen elinde kalır valla. gene de ingilizce denen emperyalist dile çevirmeye çalışayım: "I have fucked more shepherds than you have herded sheep". oldu mu? olmaaadı. dancaya çevirmeye çalışayım: "Jeg har kneppede flere hyrder, end du har vogtede får". sıçar. deyimlerimizi sevelim ve koruyalım, bol bol böyle vulgar deyimleri bilhassa devlet dairelerinde bağırarak dile getirelim.

ps: daha adamakıllı ingilizceye çevirebilecek linguist varsa, please comment
pss: başlıkta seri diyor ama yalan valla.